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Happy New Year!  The ribbons and wrappings have been collected and recycled appropriately, the decorations are down and put away (well, almost anyway) and at our house, we're looking forward to our next big event -- Superbowl!  (Go Pate's! -- After all, I am a Massachusetts native, after all!)  Here's the promised update on the Bay Area Lesbian Genre Fiction Author's Book Tour:  the February stop at the San Francisco Public Library (Main) is scheduled for February 6 at 6 p.m. and the stop at the Hayward, CA main library is on March 15 at 2 p.m..  Details can be found on my announcements page - click here.  The Book Tour is made up of the following great lesbian genre authors:  Diane & Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Gabrielle Goldsby, JLee Meyer, Karin Kallmaker, Ursula Steck, and Anna Furtado.  We'll be excited to see you on the tour!

As some of you know, I've had the pleasure of being an almost full-time writer for the past several months as a result of being laid off at work.  As a result, I've made great progress with Book Three of the Briarcrest Chronicles -- The Heart's Longing.  It's approximately 40% complete and I'm very excited about the progress I've made and about the story line.  It's coming along beautifully.  Stay tuned....
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The Bay Area Lesbian Genre Fiction Author's Book Tour continues to grow.  New stops on the tour for 2008 now include a February stop at the San Francisco Public Library and a stop in March at the Hayward, CA main library.  Details will be posted after the holidays for these exciting readings and appearances.
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Awesome things are happening with the launch of The Heart's Strength - Book Two of the Briarcrest Chronicles.  Laurel Book Store in Oakland's charming Laurel District is hosting our book launch party.  Although the book is already released and sales are moving, the official party to celebrate the event will be held on Saturday, December 1, 2007 at 7 p.m.  Read more on the Readings and Announcements page.  Please come -- and tell all your friends to join us -- for a fun evening of readings from The Heart's Strength - Book Two of the Briarcrest Chronicles. 

And on December 8, 2007, at the 8 p.m. performance, we start the Bay Area Lesbian Genre Fiction Author's Book Tour.  The first stop on the tour is at San Francisco's Femina Potens, an Arts Gallery and Performance Space.  The tour includes such Bay Area notables of lesbian fiction as Diane and Jacob Anderson-Minshall, Karin Kallmaker, JLee Meyer, Ursula Steck and yours truly, Anna Furtado will be reading another passage from The Heart's Strength.  The performance on December 8th is called "Sizzle!" and it will be a crowd pleaser, to be sure, as we all read titillating passages from our works.  See the Readings and Announcements page for additional details.
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

WATCH THIS SPACE...

Blogging is here to stay.  Time passes far too quickly.  Those two facts are related to this space.

As time passes, it gets more and more difficult for me to put aside the block of time it takes to update my "Ramblings from the Heart" newsletter.  I don't want to abandon "Ramblings" because it's the way I keep everyone informed about what's happening with my writing and my books.  However, the next issue of "Ramblings" (October, 2007) will probably be the last one that comes out in newsletter form.  Instead, I will be switching to a blogging format in this space.

That way, I can easily post news and breaking events and not have to do an entire newsletter.  Also, the information I post here will be much more up-to-the-minute!  So bookmark this page.  Hopefully, it will become your touchstone for all things Briarcrest and annafurtado.com.  I hope  to see you here soon for all my latest writing and book information.  So watch this space....
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So I got an advertisement in the mail the other day that promised me I'd look slimmer instantly!   Lord knows, I could certainly use that, so I read on...tummy looks flatter...butt looks firmer.... thighs look slimmer....hmmmm.  Now, I'm not the best dieter in the world and I have to force myself to exercise (and probably do a lot less than I should), so this instant claim spurs me on to read more.

Shaper-shortz their called.  The fine print (really fine print) says: the comfortable, lightweight shapewear that instantly slims you.  Shapewear?  Now, I start to get suspicious.  Something is distantly familiar.  Then it hit me.  Wasn't this called a girdle?

Being a old broad, I'm very familiar with this type of product, although I haven't owned one in many years.  Back in the day when I didn't even have any fat or un-firmness to shape and slim, I still had to shimmy and shake myself into one of these things because you never left home without it.  Liberation came in the sixties--women's lib, birth control, sexual freedom--we all talked about burning our bras while a much more quiet revolution took place--the dumping of our girdles.

Who would ever want to go back their again?  Not me!  So thank you very much for your offer to make me thin, firm, flat, and slim, but I'll pass.  I guess it's all back to diet and exercise.  That sound you hear is me sighing--sighing an whimpering.  But my fist is in the air--and I am still girdle-less!  Power to the round people!
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Those pesky SPAM e-mails just keep coming.  Even with filters and blockers, they manage to slip through.  This has prompted the following tongue-in-cheek responses:

To Mr. Jiangsu Tianyin in London, England:

Thank you for your generous offer to send me unsoliticited Chinese funds.  Although I’d love to take you up on your request to become your agent in the United States, I think you would find me unqualified and rather clumsy in dealing with large amounts of money.  In addition, I have both a day job and a writing career that keep me quite busy enough.  I don’t know where I’d find the time.  Besides, handling millions of dollars that you allude to would, I’m sure, give me a rash.

To Ms. Henrietta Sloan:

Although I find your offer to buy APPM stock at fifteen cents a share only to turn it around in 5 days at a profit of $1.15 per share, I think I’ll pass.  Research has shown the history of this stock to have never risen anywhere near $1.15 per share and, recently, the earnings chart resembles a mountain range on Mars.  Thanks for the offer though—I always appreciate hearing about obscure investment opportunities like this one!

To Mr. John Alisu, Secretary to the Niger Delta Development Commission:

I appreciate your munificent offer of $49.5 million dollars from funds accrued from foreign contractors that seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth.  You will pardon my hesitation on taking you up on this kind gesture since I am especially concerned about certain phrases used in your communication to me.  Phrases like “under the guise of” and “used to siphon the funds” make me just a little nervous.

To the officers of the Dreamfield National Lottery, London, UK:

Thank you for randomly selecting my e-mail address from that batch of 40,000—to think that I’m one of the lucky six!  I am overwhelmed at the prize of 450 thousand pounds.  What is that in American dollars?  A chunk of change, I’d say!  I hope you will endulge my curiosity, but I just can’t help but wonder how the officers of your fine organization have names like: Mr. Agnes Anderson and Sir Lori Feltner.  Now, I’m a hard-core feminist from the get-go, and I’m pleased to think that a woman would have been tapped on the proverbial shoulder by Her Royal Majesty Elizabeth II for such an honor, becoming a knight of the realm and all that, but you’ll please pardon my teensy little amount of skepticism as I wonder if you are not pulling my leg, Agnes.  I can take a joke with the best of them, but I think I’ll have to adhere to your own rules and regulations, noted at the end of your e-mail.  Rule Number 4 states:  Please do not reply to this e-mail….Well, o-k-a-a-a-a-y!

All totaled, from a mere four e-mails received in one day, I would yield an unbelievable income making me independently wealthy and set for life—able to write to my heart’s content without a care in the world.  Here are my one-day totals:

Buying 10,000 shares of APPM stock—profit:  $10,000.00

Taking the Chinese funds offer: Potentially, Millions

Winning the UK Lottery: approximately $883,155.99 US

Cashing in on the Nigerian windfall: $49,000,000.00

Being smart enough not to click the “easy” button:  Priceless!
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